she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
