This is not my ceiling
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize