Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
