it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize