we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize