Nicole vs. Life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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