i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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