all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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