I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
