I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
