ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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