The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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