could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I need moral support for this bender
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
