just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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