That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize