bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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