I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
