It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
