Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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