I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
