his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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