You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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