I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
