I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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