He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
