I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
