i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
