Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just found puke in my bra..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
