East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
