what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
