So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
