this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
