Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
