No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize