Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
