this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
