Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
