I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
