and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
