Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
