Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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