I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
