Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
