You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
