Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
