i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
