dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we made out on top of his cat.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
