My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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