help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
