I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
