with your own penis?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
