Do you still have your period?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
