She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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