Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
nutella sex= disaster
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
