remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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