we're blogging at a bar
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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