If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
