meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
