I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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