I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
