I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need moral support for this bender
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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