fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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