In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize