she looked like the before picture.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
