the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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